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Joke of the Day
"Last night an Afghan put a jacket on me. He said ""You da bomb!"""
Next Joke
"*walks into starbucks* Me: HEY ANY ASPIRING AUTHORS HERE?? SOMEONE FROM PENGUIN PUBLISHING OUTSIDE!!! *has choice of any table*"
"Being gay is a choice... like being black, poor, or an amputee. No one really made you go to Iraq"
"I know some scientists who worked on LIGO. I am so glad to gravitate around people who make waves."
"WELCOME TO GYM. [5gp] WOOD MUSCLE // [10gp] LEATHER MUSCLE // [50gp] IRON MUSCLE // [100gp] WISTFUL MUSCLE // [999gp] DESOLATION MUSCLE"
"What's made of brass and sounds like Tom Jones? Trombones!"
"My friend is so stupid she thought Alabama is a city. Don't worry, I informed her Alabama is the president."
"Got an extension cord, and moved the microwave right into bed with me. This 2015 is looking like a good one already."
"A man is lying in a hospital bed. ""Doctor, how long do I have to live?"" asks the man. ""10,"" replies the doctor. ""10 what?"" ""9."""
"What do you call stuffing an orifice with chilies? Jalapenetration."