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Joke of the Day

"Happy Birthday Tupac! He would've been 72 today if Dick Cheney hadn't shot him in his face."

"In German, the imperative is formed by opening your mouth and speaking German."

"Why were the coal miners confident of Theodore Roosevelt ? He threatened their boss to use his big stick."

"If I got a dime for every time I didn't know what was going on, I'd be asking people why they're giving me dimes."

"I put the 'toast' in 'toaster'. Then I take the 'toast' out of the 'toaster'."

"If my blood type is A+, can I use that for my GPA? Also how many credit hours does it count as?"

"What's the difference between rape and extortion? How you spell blackmail"

"What do a woman and a refrigerator have in common? They both leak when they're fucked."

"*panics during bank robbery* ""Uhhhh hi yeah I'd like to put this gun in my safety deposit box"""

"whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? pizzas dont scream when they get put in the oven."