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Joke of the Day
"What do u call a mexican in the back of a cop car? Pork and beans"
Next Joke
"Me: bedtime! Brain: you're hungry M: no I'm not B: thirsty then M: nope B: uhh sad? M: doing ok B: you forgot to do that thing M: nice try"
"What did hitler say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? ""Au, schwitz!"""
"""Damn you, Autocorrect!!!!"" - Mark Zuckerberg, who had intended to announce that he was giving away 99% of his socks"
"Fuck children, robots are the future"
"What do some people have against cheeseburgers? They say 'Burgers can't be cheesy!'"
"Why was the 40 degree angle so nice to the 50 degree angle? Because its very complementary!"
"Call me crazy, but the last person who did is still in a full body cast, so it's up to you."
"It's only perverted if she says no.."
"I've got a long history of suicide in my family; the good news is it skips a generation... so if I'm lucky, my kids will kill themselves."