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Joke of the Day

"Me: bedtime! Brain: you're hungry M: no I'm not B: thirsty then M: nope B: uhh sad? M: doing ok B: you forgot to do that thing M: nice try"

"How do black people like their eggs? Poached"

"[Russian class] Um, why did I fail this test? Teacher: You just wrote in English and added ""ski"" to the end of the words... I knowski."

"What's the favourite flavour of sharks? Shark-o-late!"

"How many Brexiters does it take to change a lightbulb? Woah woah woah... I never said there was a lightbulb!"

"A blind man Walks into a bar A table and a chair"

"Who makes coffee for the U.N.? The French Press Secretary!"

"What's grey and comes in pints? An elephant."

"What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One's a Goodyear. The other's a *great* year."

"What do you get if you walk under a cow? A pat on the head."