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Joke of the Day

"? Hey there Delilah, this is dispatch please come quickly There's a robbery in progress Suspect is white & in his 50s And high on gluuue ?"

"I won the local hot dog eating contest and didn't even know I was competing."

"How many coffees before I stop looking for shirts in my refrigerator"

"I never misused the word ironic, ironic right? it's a bit of a paradox. THINK!"

"My wife always freaks out when she's on her period Keep having to tell her to stop ovary acting."

"Still suddenly panicking that you haven't done your homework on Sunday evenings, despite being in your thirties"

"SB50 Panthers and Broncos coin toss Hillary won the coin toss"

"I used the toilet just after my wife and noticed that her shit really does smell of roses. Hardly surprising. She's polished off four tins of the fuckers in the last two days"

"Who will take the second shot in this snooker game? Find out after the break."

"My house is clean so please don't eat or drink or come by or let my child come home."