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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between an old bus depot and a lobster with boobs? One is a busty crustacean and the other is a crusty bus station."

"I'm going to rewrite history. History."

"What do you get a man who has everything? A good urologist."

"I'm off to pick the kids up from school. Before their parents get there."

"I'm not an observant Jew. You might even say I'm an oblivious Jew."

"Empire Strikes Back is still my favorite StarWars episode. One could say it is a perfect 5/7."

"People are like slinkys... ... they're no fun to look at but when you push em down the stairs you cant help but smile."

"Frostbite!! It snow joke!!"

"I don't understand why people say ""Oh it's just walking distance away"" Everything is walking distance if you have the time."

"Drank orange juice right after brushing my teeth so I think I know what death feels like."