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Joke of the Day

"You never really know how many inches you're gonna get or how long it'll last. Snow, maybe."

"The Super Bowl is over, everyone. Time to briefly learn the names of some Winter Olympians."

"What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph, because he's not a full ese."

"My girlfriend asked me why I was sitting with the eggs... I couldn't find my whisk, and if you can't beat them, you might as well join them..."

"How my girlfriend stay's thin. Wanna know how my girlfriend stays thin? She burns most of her calories jumping to conclusions."

"Sonny: I can't sleep. What should I do? Counselor: Lie near the edge of the bed. That way you'll be sure to drop off!"

"brace yourselves, the orthodontist just died"

"Three guys walk in to a bar... The 4th one ducks"

"Have you heard the one about the successful black man? Neither have I! I hope this isn't a repost. I made this joke, but I wouldn't be surprised if somebody else thought of it before me."

"Moratorium on the word ""Awkward."" We're all awkward. We fart when we don't want to and that guy/gal over there is cooler. Get over it."