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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend asked me why I was sitting with the eggs... I couldn't find my whisk, and if you can't beat them, you might as well join them..."

Next Joke
 
"When a relationship becomes too much work can you outsource the work to China?"
"Harry Potter: A Shortened Version Voldemort: I must kill Harry Potter. Everyone else: Lol, no."
"[Religon] What's black and religous? The jews after hitler godammit how 2 spell religeone?!?!?!?!?"
"[OC] Kid: I just shat gold Parents: Wow, finally something good came out of you"
"Grandson convinced his grandmother to make an email account. Grandson: Look, Grandma. Somebody already sent you an email. *(Click)* Grandmother: Why would I want to enlarge my penis?"
"In the old days you could send your kid to the store with a note to get your cigarettes. Now they need a mask and a knife."
"Sometimes I keep Facebook open in two tabs to remind myself I'm worthless."
"I still remember the day the dentist removed my braces. My trousers fell down and he molested me."
"[11am] Me: oh look, it's sunny out. Me: I should go running. Me: or swimming! Me: these Doritos are delicious."