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Joke of the Day

"The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public."

"What kind of dreams do dustmites have? .............. Mitemares"

"""What's taking the pharmacist so long? It's just one prescription"" *behind the counter the pharmacist is sinking in quicksand and screaming*"

"""What did two years of Spanish classes teach you in high school?"" Nadar"

"Pro is the opposite of con right? Well then what is the opposite of congress?"

"Mr friend broke her hand today :( But on the other hand she's okay :)!"

"I had this problem where the cap wouldn't stay on my whiskey bottle. So I fixed it with scotch tape."

"Why does Missouri share borders with the most amount of States? Because Missouri loves company"

"Good thing Father's Day is only one day. I don't think I could stand to be a father longer than that."

"Showed up late for work and blamed it on rush hour. Showed up late again the next day and blamed it on rush hour 2."