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Joke of the Day

"Showed up late for work and blamed it on rush hour. Showed up late again the next day and blamed it on rush hour 2."

Next Joke
 
"Why did the cat get arrested for playing a violin? Because it was a kitty fiddler."
"Judge: The defendant is claiming you're a nazi. Is this true? Lawyer: *flustered* er no fuhrer questions your honour *courtroom gasps*"
"bicycle cop: im taking you to jail me [sarcastic voice]: should i ride on your pegs or walk next to you [segway cop just dying laughing]"
"Valve Half-life 3 confirmed"
"I want to live in one of those countries where the lawmakers get into fistfights"
"Sorry I threw firewood at you and yelled ""shoo"", but with the amount of eye liner you wear, you resemble the raccoons that raided my cooler."
"Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player? Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back."
"Moses was computer savvy.. ..He had two tablets!"
"Live every day like it's your last! . . . So now I'm 26 stone, have a drink/drug problem and about to face life imprisonment."
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