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Joke of the Day

"What does a fat person and hitler have in common? Neither of them can finish a race"

"Why do women have legs? To not leave a slime trail."

"God said, ""Thou shall not kill"" And then he wiped out the entire human race with a global flood just because people didn't take it seriously"

"If cops were really public servants they'd stop pulling me over and start cleaning my house."

"I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather Not screaming and yelling like everyone else in the car."

"I like my women like I like my rice.... ....Hot, white, and lifeless."

"Why couldn't the blacksmith use lead to create the lock? Because it would have Lead(II) trouble."

"What did the god of lightning say after working out for the first time? I'm Thor"

"Elephant meets a camel somehow. The elephant asks the camel why he has boobs on his back. The camel replies, ""You don't have much to say because you have a dick on your face."""

"What do you get when you cross a stoner with a halo nerd? Masterchief"