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Joke of the Day

"What did the god of lightning say after working out for the first time? I'm Thor"

"Knock knock Who's there? Owls . . . Owls who? Yes they do"

"What do you call on-again off-again snow in Michigan? Inter-mitten."

"Research shows that smoking pot does not make you paranoid. But I highly doubt it."

"Why are Asians not optimistic? Because they have a limited view of life."

"[blind date] Me: So you can't see me? Him: Nope. Not at all. Me: (stops sucking in gut) This is the best date ever!"

"Studies show that people who start a sentence with ""studies show..."" have no clue what they're talking about"

"Two guys are busted stealing a calender The both got 6 months"

"My european friend Opee is opening up a restaurant where he claims to have the 'worlds best pizza'. His restaurant is in the middle of no where, but don't worry Opee Delivers"