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Joke of the Day

"Jessica Simpson had her baby. Apparently, Kanye busted into the delivery room and said Beyonce had the best baby of all time."

"Indian Chief My friend got an Indian Chief tattooed on his arm. His arm never worked again!"

"The string of expletives that poured from my mouth when I woke up at 3 pm to realize my alarm didn't go off was pure smut poetry"

"I'm starting to hate the U.S. government The NSA appears to be the only department which listens"

"The Bible is so unrealistic, Noah's wife would have never allowed two spiders on that boat."

"How do police know that princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders under the steering wheel."

"What did George Takei say to the attractive Frenchman on waterskis? Eau myyyyyyyy...."

"I was suffering from constipation the other day but I really didn't care In fact, I didn't even give a shit."

"My cat just showed it's holiday spirit by pooping tinsel."

"Every time I eat a banana in public, a stranger offers me money to do it in private. I ate 32 bananas today & made $725. I have diarrhea."