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Joke of the Day

"How do police know that princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders under the steering wheel."

"Why does Bob Seger always laugh when he plays chess? He thinks it's funny how the Knight moves."

"Why did Kermit break up with Miss Piggy? He wasn't ready for a Kermitment."

"ancestry dot com told me my ancestors were ""A Shit Ton of Sketchy Raccoons"". bullshit. i didnt pay 50 bucks for something i already knew"

"Keep your friend's clothes in your enemy's toaster."

"Why did the young soldier go off searching for a wounded prostitute? A cowboy told him there was a hoedown."

"What was the name of the most famous stripper in Ancient Greece? Socra-tease"

"*walks past yoga studio* *looks in window* *eyes widen* Awesome. It's like kindergarten. *walks into class* *unrolls mat* *takes a nap*"

"I found a hole in my trainer that's big enough to put my finger through. One formal complaint from her, and I'm now banned from the gym"

"A shapeshifter repeatedly raped a girl, first as a midget, then as a normal man, and finally as a giant. He came in a variety of sizes."