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Joke of the Day

"[Airport Bar] Me: I'll have a beer, please. Bartender: That'll be $45. Me: Worth it."

"A Blanket? It would be a fukkit."

"So many people are worried that The Walking Dead could happen and I'm over here terrified that Idiocracy is actually happening."

"David Cameron has said that Britain is prepared for a nuclear attack from North Korea. Dave mate, normally we aren't prepared for snow at winter."

"What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run - she is still holding the grenade!"

"Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head? Because from a distance they looked like hares!"

"What do you get if you cross a 20-year-old man, and 37 steak knives? 25 years in prison"

"Don't hand out condoms to high school students. Take away their deodorant and toothbrush. That'll cut down teen pregnancy"

"Why does a billionaire need a Bat signal? He is in a cave. How does he even see the signal? Why won't you just text him?"

"What is the official novel of Mexico? Tequila Mockingbird"