10243

Joke of the Day

"Why did the black man cross the road? Better question is what the FUCK is he doing outside of the cotton field!?"

"*whispers to old lady at Starbucks* one time they ran out of coffee here and we ate a baby"

"At least you'll be able to watch Jeremy Clarkson on Dave for the next 12 years."

"QA Manager: And what is the protocol when an aircraft comes inbound with a suspected Ebola case? ""WTF. Planes can catch this shit too?"""

"Q: What what can you make from baked beans and onions? A: Tear gas."

"I wanted to rope down this mountain... but I found it quite rappelent."

"what should i do for my 30th birthday??? I'm only 23 but it pays to b prepared"

"Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calendar? They each got 6 months"

"Today I saw two little kids fighting. As the only adult nearby, I had to step in. Those kids didn't stand a chance."

"I was going to start my diet today, but as it turns out pizza still exists, so..."