102349

Joke of the Day

"I was walking through a cemetery, and I saw a guy crouched behind a gravestone, so I said ""morning"", to which he replied ""no just taking a shit""."

"A farmer walks past a tombstone that says: Here lies a lawyer, an honest man, a man of integrity. The peasant crosses himself and says scared: ""Blessed Virgin, three men buried in the same grave!"""

"I rang my boss and asked him ""what is the difference between work and your daugter?"" ""I won't be coming into work today!"""

"Let's make it weird. Dont worry. I'll start."

"What did the mute kid say to his friend"

"*watching my hamster gnaw on his tiny broadsword* you are a disgrace to your lineage and bring great shame upon this house"

"My penis was in the guinness book of world records! And then the librarian told me to take it out"

"I went to the cannibal restaurant the other night and the waitress gave me the cold shoulder. It came with rice and a salad."

"Do you ever get that creepy deja vu feeling? [credit](http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2tc8bn/how_do_you_subtly_fuck_with_people/cny3ig0)"

"What's the difference between Martin Luther King Jr day and saint pattys day Everybody wants to be irish on saint pattys day."