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Joke of the Day

"I used to be Irish... Then I became completely full of ire."

"You know those disgusting people who lick their fingers instead of using a napkin in public? Hi."

"By the time a man realises that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he's wrong."

"Autocorrect is changing correctly spelled words. I'm starting to think it has a mind of its AUTOCORRECT IS HARMLESS. GO ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS."

"My wife's sexual fantasy is to be with another man. Mine is to have two girls at the same time. I think she misunderstood because now we have twin daughters from the mailman."

"Q: How many Vietnam Vets does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: YOU DON'T KNOW, MAN, YOU WEREN'T THERE!!! YOU DON'T KNOW!!!"

"How much does it cost for a pirate to get an ear piercing? A buccaneer."

"Pizza Hut ad: ""Do you want the same old same old, or do you want the original?"" Think about these words."

"How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus? Ten-tickles"

"""I think I stepped in some upchuck"" What's up, Chuck? ""Not much, but my name's not Chuck"" *vomits*"