102265

Joke of the Day

"Sometimes it seems like I'm married to my own liver I only abuse it when I'm drinking"

"Why did the elephant sit on the marshmallow? So he wouldn't fall into the hot chocolate."

"I head the singer of ""Chandelier"" is visiting my town I'm looking out for her, but I just can't Sia!"

"Why dont you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because theyre really good at it!"

"*wife looks through my phone *divorces me 8 times"

"During our First Dance at our Wedding My new wife looked into my eyes and said ""Where have you been my whole life?"" I said ""SOBER"""

"I shared a banana with my Dad today... He had the inside bit again :( (Joke courtesy of the hysterical 'Adam Hess')"

"What did the router say to the doctor? It hurts when IP."

"What does a 9 volt battery have in common with a girls arsehole? You know its wrong but sooner or later your going to lick it."

"Did you hear about the Candy Factory they opened on the East Coast? It closed after a month... they couldn't find any good wrappers."