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Joke of the Day

"*wife looks through my phone *divorces me 8 times"

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"What do a 9 volt battery and a hot chick's asshole have in common? You know you shouldn't but you are going to put your tongue on it eventually."
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"Whoa. I just did something & almost forgot to document it on the Internet. That was a close one."
"Yo momma is so fat, the sorting hat put her in all four houses."
"U.S found oil in foreign land soil and instantly reported serious shortage of democracy there"
"How many ""friend-zoned"" guys does it take to change a light bulb? None, they'll just compliment it and get pissed when it won't screw."
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"What do Winnie the Pooh and Attila the Hun have in common? The same middle name."