45895

Joke of the Day

"Why did ranch break up with chicken wings? Because he blue cheese..."

"Did you know it's now politically incorrect to say 'black paint'? Now you have to say ""Jamaal can you please paint the fence""."

"The past, the present and the future had a meeting. It was tense in there."

"Did you hear about the Jewish boy... ...that asked his father for $5? His dad replied with, ""FOUR DOLLARS?! What the hell do you need $3 for?!"""

"*job interview* ""Youre 30? Why haven't you accomplished your life goals?"" ""Tbh I thought the Mayan apocalypse was real. No plan past that."""

"Why did the turkey cross the road? Because he's in my belly and he has to go where ever I go from now on..."

"I left my house for a five-mile-run this morning. But when I got a block away, I had to turn around and go back because I forgot something. I forgot I can't run five miles."

"Stop calling it ""sweater weather"" and call it what it really is, ""I don't have to shave my legs for 6 months weather."""

"Did you hear about the man who took so much LSD he started spontaneously speaking Italian? It was a wopping dose."

"I want to cover you in expensive things like gasoline."