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Joke of the Day

"If Dumbledore did a 'Cribs' episode for Hogwarts, he'd be like ""and this is where the magic happens"" in every room."

"Did you hear about that frog that broke a bone? Yea he broke a ribbet"

"CNN writer: how's this - my phone is missing. CNN exec: meh Writer: It was on AIRPLANE mode! *CNN exec absolutely loses it*"

"I'm texting hubs a grocery list one item at a time so he can experience his phone blowing up"

"What's the difference between this post and a fire truck? A fire truck is red and has four wheels while this post is a complete fucking waste of your time."

"Have I told you lately... ...is the least romantic line a toll-collector ever said to his girlfriend."

"Looks like we set back the clock twice this week... First on Sunday, then on election night."

"A man came into a bar....no, wait, it was a horse. A man came into a horse......."

"Cheating in a joke. A man cheats on his girlfriend Lorraine with a woman named Clearly. Lorraine dies suddenly. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, ""I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."""

"What's the difference between pink and purple? Your grip."