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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear the watermelon joke? It's pitful."

"I didn't vote for Trump, but at least Now I get to find out how He's going to Build That Wall and make Mexico pay for it."

"My ex girlfriend had huge tits Ahh such good mammaries"

"Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined ""victim"" as ""one who has encountered Chuck Norris"""

"I once shot a deer in my pajamas... How it got in my pajamas, I will never know."

"I was at a restaurant and my waitress had a black eye so I ordered reallllyy slow, because she obviously doesn't listen."

"I failed my Driver's test. Driving teacher: ""What do you do at a red light?"" Me: ""I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."""

"On her deathbed my wife said, ""Sweety, I will see you in Heaven."" Since then I have kicked a puppy, stole from 4 shops and set fire to an orphanage.!"

"they played Twist,so I twisted. they played Jump, so I jumped. they played Come on Eileen ... and I was banned for life"

"My girlfriend woke up with a smile on her face this morning. I fucking love felt tips"