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Joke of the Day

"I failed my Driver's test. Driving teacher: ""What do you do at a red light?"" Me: ""I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."""

"I just found a six pack in my room. Case closed"

"There are two types of people in this world: Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data..."

"I work in food service. .. We've cooked so many passover meals, it's like everyone is afraid of ovens."

"What do you call a Mexican baptism? Bean dip"

"Did you hear about the sorcerer that turns people into prostitutes? He's whorifying!"

"What's your ringtone? That's nice. Mine's a light shade of brown."

"What's the difference between a black man and happiness? You can't buy happiness!"

"Jake and the Cat Man: One man solves crime, the other spends the entire show being startled by thunder."

"I almost bought a huge library out of old computer programming books... ...but the ascii price was way too high."