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Joke of the Day

"Do you know why the people in ambulances are called paramedics? because there are two of them in the ambulance...it's a Pair O' Medics!!!"

"""Just spots"" ""I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes."" ""Did you ever see a doctor?"" ""No, just spots."""

"What did the conductor do when half of the cello section called in sick a week before a major concert? He was forced to resort to excessive violins."

"Steps to being cool A) Use the sunglasses face B)"

"I have to poop like the Joker... really, really bad."

"Teen: Your brows are on fleek! Me: (confused) Yeah well your FACE is on fleek. Teen: Thanks! Me: God damn it."

"*tightens straps on electric chair* Any last words? -I think male oysters should be called boysters Omg will someone throw the damn switch"

"What do you call someone from Zimbabwe holding a bottle cap in their hand? A trillionaire."

"What do you call an exceptional Mexican? Nacho average guy"

"How do you get a million dollars with a girlfriend You start with 4 million"