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Joke of the Day

"I have to poop like the Joker... really, really bad."

"Texting while driving is incredibly stupid and dangerous You're practically begging for typos."

"Why did Moses vote for Al Gore? Because the last time he took political orders from a Bush, his country went mucking around in the Middle East for forty years."

"It really bothers me when the free Internet that I'm leeching off from the cafe across the street is kind of slow."

"Two hookers talking. One ask the other. Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz? To which the other replies No, but I've been swung around by the tits."

"Why are dolphins all friends with each other? They just click you know?"

"I drink Mountain Dew for the protective coating it leaves on my teeth. The kidney stones are a close second."

"The two most horrific words on the internet are ""Begin Slideshow."""

"In the future the only two jobs left are Uber driver and escape room planner."

"""Umm, what are you doing? Can you not? Seriously, get off me!"" - The first horse ever ridden (probably)"