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Joke of the Day

"A lot of parents are asking questions about my baby cannon. Like ""Does it really fire babies?"" & ""Have you seen my son Jeff?"""

"How do you know when you're too drunk to drive? When you swerve to miss a tree and realize it was your air freshener"

"Pilots sure do like dick holes... Sorry, im just testing out my new thesaurus"

"Did you hear about the blind engineer ? Who built the taj mahal"

"Heard about the new Itailian all-weather tires? Dago through rain Dago through mud Dago through snow And when Dago flat Dago wop-wop-wop-wop..."

"What's the difference between the Olympic long distance race and the Paralympic long distance race? A lap"

"Ladies, if you think being clumsy is cute, I once stabbed my date in the gums with a fork trying to feed her a bite of spaghetti"

"I'm such a daredevil. I put ALL my eggs in one basket at the grocery store."

"A young boy asks his Dad :""What is the difference between confident and confidential? Dad says: ""You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, THAT is confidential."

"I don't try to be awesome, awesome tries to be me."