10133

Joke of the Day

"2034. All motivation comes from posters now. People can't even find the strength to poop without seeing italics over a meadow"

"What's the scariest 3 letter acronym for a soldier in Afghanistan with a 15 year old daughter at home? IUD"

"What happened when a man fell in love with a grand piano? He said ""Darling you've got lovely teeth."""

"How do you tell the difference between an electrician and an electrical engineer? Ask them to pronounce the word, ""unionized""."

"remember when we were younger and we all thought 'bob' was a really common name but how many bobs do u actually know"

"ME: [shouting upstairs] dinner's ready! 6YR OLD: what are we having? ME: you'll like it! trust me! 6: I ain't falling for that shit again"

"My wife was abducted by a gang of mimes. They did unspeakable things to her."

"Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi!"

"[finds sock with hole in it] *gets angry* [puts sock back in same drawer] *repeats forever*"

"What do you get when you cross a hippo, an elephant, and a rhino? A helephino. (Hellifiknow)"