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Joke of the Day

"Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi!"

"Technology would be better if you could download sandwiches."

"What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? Run like hell. She's got a grenade in her mouth."

"I was helping Animal Control round up a stray dog today, and was hoping to get credit for the catch. But he got the collar."

"What do you call a detective novel about eskimos? Whodinuit"

"It was a good decision to remove all the mirrors from my car I haven't looked back since."

"My Girlfriend broke up with me because I don't last long in bed... I told her if she ever changes her mind, all she has to do is phone and I'll come straight away."

"Multitasking: screwing up several things at once."

"How do you keep an idiot in suspense? I'll tell you later"

"BREAKING: Pluto is once again a regular planet. ""It was always huge & full sized!"" said one dwarf planet scientist with a fake mustache."