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Joke of the Day

"What happened when a man fell in love with a grand piano? He said ""Darling you've got lovely teeth."""

"*makes 58008 on an abacus and turns it upside down* dammit"

"Do you guys ever put sheets over your dogs so they look like little dog ghosts? Me neither."

"Have you heard of Charlie Sheen and Lindsey Lohans new sitcom? It's called ""two and a half grams"""

"Trust me, when they make a pill that REALLY makes your d!ck grow, that commercial will be on during the Super Bowl, not 3am!"

"As told to me by an indian bus driver overseas... Why don't rabbits make noise when they fuck? Because they have cotton balls. Apologies if it's a repost."

"I'll never forget my dad's last words before he kicked the bucket ""Hey son, how far do you think I can kick this thing?"""

"Kennedy put a man on the moon.... Obama put a man in the ladies room."

"My doctor told me I needed to see a rheumatologist... I told him that's a strange way to say interior designer."

"How many Freudian analysts does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb, and the other to hold the penis -- LADDER. I meant ladder."