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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a guy who always phones people? Colin."

"Wife just texted me that she is craving Thai... I need a reply"

"A sandwich walks into a bar... ...and the bartender says, ""I'm sorry, we don't serve food here."""

"What is Micheal Bay's favorite phone? The Galaxy note 7"

"If I got a boyfriend I wouldn't know what to do... What do they eat? How often do they need to be walked? Can they be house trained?"

"What's wrong with the plane that flies to Holland? It Netherlands."

"Why do Stasi officers make such good taxi drivers? You get in the car and they already know your name and where you live."

"""We should see other people"" PIGEON: coo ""It's not u it's me"" - coo ""I'm breaking up w/ u"" - coo ""I'm sleeping w/ ur brother"" - not coo"

"""The Walking Dad,"" but it's just a guy walking around the house turning off lights and muttering that he's ""not made of money"""

"Destroying the Death Star was a terrorist act. Allah Ackbar!!!!!"