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Joke of the Day

"""The Walking Dad,"" but it's just a guy walking around the house turning off lights and muttering that he's ""not made of money"""

Next Joke
 
"What was the cat painting A self pawtrait."
"I have a tree joke you might like to hear but most of us would be Sycamore. (tree jokes need to be spruced up in my opinion)"
"It's all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen."
"Ladies, are you having wine? Don't be shy. Let us know about it on all of your social media websites."
"Hey, want to play the rape game? No? That's the spirit!"
"A scoliosis patient had given up hope of recovery.. But after the long and painful surgery, he took his first steps and humbly said ""I stand corrected""."
"A doctor in a mental hospital was caught having sex with a female patient. He was Fucking Crazy!"
"What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree? A pear. P.s. got this joke in a cracker. If anybody gets it can you please explain it. My family is stumped."
"I bought my kids electric toothbrushes because it was taking too long to splatter toothpaste all over the bathroom w/the regular toothbrush."