101214

Joke of the Day

"Not to brag but my new mistress is a lingerie model. Ok, fine, mannequin. But she doesn't talk much and I like that."

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One's a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean"

"Why did the bald man go outside ? To get some fresh hair !"

"I'd like a job cleaning mirrors Because it's something I can see myself doing"

"I'd like to say ""Fuck this weather"" But I'm pretty sure it's under 18"

"Two things you need to know about me: 1. I am hung over. 2. Sometimes I say the word over for no reason."

"I need to get one of those gadgets for my camera so I can take pictures of myself. I think it's called a narciss-stick."

"WHAT DO WE WANT? If you have to ask, we're not telling you! WHEN DO WE WANT IT? We don't know! -Women's protest rally."

"If I was a witch I would cast vague and subtle spells. So and so never gets to see a rainbow again. That type of stuff."

"what sorcery is this, the iron wasnt workin, so I took it apart put it together again got left with extra parts and screws but its working??"