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Joke of the Day

"If I was a witch I would cast vague and subtle spells. So and so never gets to see a rainbow again. That type of stuff."

"What do you call a french soul singer? Beret White"

"I was with my mom today when some guy backed into our car. I joked with my mom ""That guy's pull out game is weak."" My mom replied ""Not as weak as your dad's."""

"If your key ring is full of keychains with clever sayings, plus a stick filled with glittery water, I know you had a baby in high school."

"JUDGE: I find you guilty of murder. Sentenced to life. LAWYER: But it was only 20 minutes of murder. JUDGE: Oh, then you're free to go."

"i'm really good at practicing how to pronounce something on a fancy menu for 10 minutes, then cracking under pressure and saying ""that one."""

"What should you do if you find a snake in your bed? Sleep in the wardrobe."

"Top 10 Ways To Avoid Clickbait, Number 8 Always Works Well, this wasn't one of them"

"""So all you have to do is scroll down the screen to reverse her progression from sexy prom queen to fat soccer mom."" - Facebook's Timeline"

"Mrs. Claus must be pretty dissatisfied. After all, he only comes once a year."