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Joke of the Day

"Finally getting around to shaving my legs, blow drying them kept taking to long."

"I made a bunch of custom t-shirts for my footballer friends, and they suddenly turned into philosophers. Must've been the soccer tees."

"My reaction to Kit Kat prices: $1 good deal. $1.25 ok. $1.50 whoa. $1.75 what are we at the OPERA?!"

"Why was 10 scared? ... because he was in the middle of 9-11! Better phrasing recommendations appreciated :-)"

"What do California zombies eat? Graaaiiins."

"Carbs are my starch enemy."

"If I ever run into Captian Crunch, I'm gonna punch him in the roof of his mouth."

"My idea of heaven consists of all of the things I'd go to hell for."

"I'm thinking about moving carreer into building kitchen worktops... but that seems counter productive"

"What Video Game do feminists LOVE to play? No MAN'S sky!"