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Joke of the Day

"I'm thinking about moving carreer into building kitchen worktops... but that seems counter productive"

"When I die, I want to pass peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa Not screaming in petrified terror, like his passengers."

"What's wrong with lawyer jokes? Lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks they're jokes."

"I was about to sleep with a blind girl when she said, ""You have the biggest penis I've ever laid my hands on""... I responded, ""You're pulling my leg."""

"Dr to nurse! Dr to nurse: ""How much has this man had to drink?"" Nurse: ""I can't tell."" Dr: ""It's ok; you can tell me. I'm a doctor"""

"What do you call a fake psychic who was found out and now shoots up in ditches? A high medium low"

"The chicken and the egg lay in bed together sharing a cigarette... The chicken turns to the egg and says, ""well, I guess we answered that one."""

"Did you hear about the singing laptop? It's a Dell."

"What did the italian man with dementia have for dinner? Forgetti Bolognese."

"""Kids are great when you need help around the house."" - People who don't have kids"