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Joke of the Day

"Why was 10 scared? ... because he was in the middle of 9-11! Better phrasing recommendations appreciated :-)"

"The cool thing about driving 15 mph in a school zone is that it makes it so much easier to text."

"What did one gay sperm say to the other? How are we going to get through this shit"

"What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer"

"Don't forget to smile today, but not that creepy smile that makes us all wonder how many bodies are buried in your yard."

"What Do You Call A Galloping Musician? Ludvig Van BeetHOOFen."

"Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way."

"Damn girl, are you a haunted house? Because I'm scared to come inside you."

"You know that episode of Friends where Joey tries to speak French? That's what I hear when watching the State of the Union Address"

"*kneels to pray* ""Hello, God?"" ""YOU'VE REACHED CUSTOMER SUPPORT."" ""Who is this?"" ""MY NAME IS BRAD."" ""Are you in Heaven, Brad?"" ""NO, INDIA."""