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Joke of the Day

"I invented a new sex position called the JFK I splatter all over her while she feverishly tries to get out of the car."

"What do you get if you cross Islam and Capitalism? v2 Allah's Snackbar."

"When I'm in a conference room all by myself I like to pretend I'm having a very important meeting with chairs about chair shit."

"I can sleep for ages and not get tired"

"What is a physicist's favourite food? Fission chips."

"What do men and slurpees have in common? If you don't suck them fast enough they lose their shape."

"Knock Knock. *Who's There?* A Kid! *A Kid Who?* A kid who cant reach the doorbell."

"I don't like the idea of bacteria in my yogurt so I mix it with hand sanitizer. It cuts down on the taste, but I sleep better at night."

"What's the difference between three dicks and a joke? Your momma can't take a joke."

"I was watching some strange porn the other night... ...it had a fat naked guy perched on the end of his bed, crying while he masterbated. Then I realised I hadn't turned the tv on."