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Joke of the Day

"When I'm in a conference room all by myself I like to pretend I'm having a very important meeting with chairs about chair shit."

"I'm sorry I put a collar on your baby. I thought it was a Pug."

"I LIKE THE WAY YOUR FLESH IS GATHERED ABOUT YOUR SKELETON - from pickup lines draft folder"

"I've just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon....... I will keep you posted."

"What does Walter White say when someone tells him a knock-knock joke? Nothing, because he is the one who knocks."

"I went to a funeral the other day, my friend died after being hit on the head by a tennis ball. It was a lovely service."

"Why don't shrimp give anything to charity? Because they're shellfish."

"How do you start a rave in Ethopia??? You staple food on the ceilings."

"Don't worry. Nobody else wants Sharona."

"I'm never a more ineffective parent than when I accidentally make threats that rhyme."