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Joke of the Day

"Did you know that by today's standards Marilyn Monroe would be considered dead?"

"I was talking to my Jewish doctor friend... And I asked him how much he charges for a curcumcision. He said that he does it for free, but he gets to keep the tip."

"The average person swallows over 4,000 spiders each year. More than that. Tens of thousands. Hundreds of thousands of spiders. It's crazy."

"As a gay male, just once, I wish someone would ask me how I like my coffee. Them: Hey, how do you like your coffee? Me: Like I love my men! Them: Oh, Black? Me: No, anally!"

"I can't believe carotene is STILL in its beta phase."

"2 black eyes What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes? Nothing, I already told her twice."

"You know what they say in the tire industry? Have a good year!"

"I keep fixing my door every time my British friend leaves He always brexit."

"My Grandma's favorite saying Life is the ultimate disease. Its sexually transmitted and terminal."

"[interview] BOSS: How many words can you type a minute? ME: Probably all of them BOSS: What do you mean? ME: Well, like for example, pickle"