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Joke of the Day

"I was talking to my Jewish doctor friend... And I asked him how much he charges for a curcumcision. He said that he does it for free, but he gets to keep the tip."

"What do you say when it's snowing? Winter is coming."

"What do you call tiny waves that wash up onto a beach? Microwaves!"

"i thought eyelashes were meant to keep shit out of your eye but half the time theres anything in my eye its a fucking eyelash"

"What kind of jeans do Mario and Luigi wear? Denim denim denim!"

"Rude lady to me, ""Well I'm sorry but you don't LOOK sick to me."" Me, ""Looks can be deceiving. For example, you don't look stupid."""

"what did the pirate do after his parrot bit off his genitals? He got a woodpecker."

"Is your refrigerator running? Well, you better get glasses, and stop doing drugs"

"One time i saw a man eat a whole apple, core and everything. Motherboard and power supply too. The man ate a computer it was horrifying"

"It's like ""society"" expects you to wear ""different clothes"" every day."