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Joke of the Day

"So a white man walks into a plastic surgeon's office... [FIXED] He tells the plastic surgeon, ""I want to become a black man."""

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"What do you call a fast zombie? A zoombie."
"Restaurant A friend said she heard there's a wonderful restaurant on the moon, but nobody goes there because there's no atmosphere..."
"Big bad wolf says to LittleRedRidingHood: Ho-ho-ho - I'm going to eat you all up! LittleRedRidingHood says: ""Eat, eat, eat. Doesn't anyone wanna fuck anymore?"""
"Facial scrubs with bits of fruit in them are a pretty big ""fuck you!"" to third world countries."
"My mom was the best mom. I hope your mom spends today thinking about what she could've done to get on my mom's level."
"My wife doesn't know this, but I put a dollar in an envelope every time we have sex. This is all I'm spending for her Christmas present. So far she's getting a McChicken."
"[i start thinking about an imminent problem] Hmm this is unpleasant. I better address this situation by not thinking about it anymore"
"Had pumpkin flavored coffee this morning and immediately signed up for a Zumba class and kidnapped 2 kids and drove them to a soccer field"
"What do you make with an Avogadro? Guaca-MOL-e"
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