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Joke of the Day

"Is it weird that Nirvana's In Utero album cover turns me on? No wait, it isn't In Utero. It's...Nevermind"

"Who is William Shatner's mythical nemesis? The Lepre-khaaaaannnnn!!!!!"

"[Jedi Academy] Why do you want to be Jedi? [Imagines using 'the force' to steal everyone's cats and building a cat army] To keep the peace"

"Let the bodies hit the floor? Ok but first let me put down some plastic this is new carpet I don't want to ruin it my mom will be pissed"

"You can build a thousand bridges. You suck one dick and you're known as a cocksucker."

"Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says ""oh, you want to see crazy?"" Reassure her that you do not."

"If some people still have ray rice jerseys, keep em. I use mine as a wife beater"

"What do you call a group of physicians with erectile dysfunction? Doctors Without Boners"

"the worst part about hitting a child in public... is getting caught by their parents."

"Helium walks into a bar. The bar tender says when don't serve nobles here. He didn't react."