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Joke of the Day

"What did Mr. Marijuana say to Mrs. Marijuana when she asked if her dress makes her look fat? ""I'll be blunt..."""

"I walked out naked one time and she's like wtf. And I'm like this is how god made me! And she's like no that's how beer and tacos made you."

"Why is there only 50 shades of grey? Why not 5,000? What's stopping them?"

"What is Chuck Norris' only weakness? Cancer"

"Don't steal. That's the government's job."

"Show him you care by leaving the message ""I see you"" on his bathroom mirror."

"How does Amazon Mexico pay its employees? In Jeff Pesos."

"Onion books. Read 'em and weep. (Credit to Andrew O'Niel.)"

"I went to a feminist picnic last weekend... No one made any sandwiches."

"If realigion isn't real then why does it have the word ""real"" in it?"