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Joke of the Day

"Don't steal. That's the government's job."

"Taking a nap now. If you're tempted to wake me, please remember Jurassic Park. Just because we can do it, doesn't always mean we should."

"Did you hear about the dyslexic insomniac agnostic? He lay awake nights wondering if there was a dog."

"My calendar says there's a new moon tomorrow. The old one was there for 4.5 billion years; you'd think people would be more excited."

"What do logicians use to shave? Occam's razor"

"Octopus - 8 arms ""Yes"" Octagon - 8 sides ""Yes"" Octuplets - 8 babies ""Yes"" October - 8th month ""No"" I'm burning this world down"

"The day you can post smells on the Internet will be the worst/best day ever"

"Most people don't act stupid it's the real thing."

"[HORRIBLE] What is the best-selling treat in Rwanda? A Tutsi Roll."

"Hay gurl are you a gorilla enclosure? Cause' I wanna drop a kid in you."