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Joke of the Day

"I heard Arnold Schwarzenegger wants to work in pest control. He's gonna be an ex-terminator."

"How does one make a Nazi? With a ropesy."

"Did you hear about the guy who had to leave his position to become a manager? He was fired up"

"Me: *tied up* Guy: *hits my kneecap* M: I'm not a rat! G: Bring in her sworn enemy! G2: *tosses Rubik's Cube at me* M: Oh god no! I'll talk!"

"Why did Microsoft skip to Windows 10? Because 7 8 9."

"This unicorn sitting next to me is saying that I took too many Vicodin."

"A third-party vote walks out of a bar... He says ""Wow, I'm wasted."""

"Friends are like balloons; if you stab them, they die."

"It was time to show my girlfriend how i really feel.. so i showed her my hands.."

"Why was the physics teacher and the biology teacher always fighting? They didn't have any chemistry."