181983

Joke of the Day

"Friends are like balloons; if you stab them, they die."

"Man is incomplete until he's married....... Man is incomplete until he's married. Then he's finished."

"What do you call a Latino on a trick bike? A BMXican."

"What do you call a sleepy relative of a paper towel? A napkin."

"If there's one thing that Twitter has taught me its that all the weird kids in school eventually find each other."

"Daddy can u get me a drink? ""No, you're 5yo you can get your own drink"" Fine *goes to fridge ""While you're there can you grab me a beer?"""

"Asked exterminator if he chose the bug life or the bug life chose him. In the ensuing silence I assume he imagined me dying by fumigation."

"I'm no computer expert, but spreadsheets are really where I Excel"

"So a gun expert has a seizure His neurons were firing with BOTH barrels."

"I heard my idiot friend talk about inequality the other day and I couldn't help but draw some parallels. :)"