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Joke of the Day

"Grandpa Joe's all, I'm gonna just stay in bed for twenty years. Wait, a CHOCOLATE FACTORY? jkjk I can walk! He's my kinda people."

"A hipster walks into a bar... ...and asks the hipster bartender for a beer. Bartender says - we don't serve hipsters... ironically."

"Why did the cop wake up his son? To stop a kid napping."

"Mommy, mommy can I lick the bowl out? Noooo...just flush the toilet like a normal person......"

"I thought about opening up a cemetery... but it seems like it would be a large undertaking."

"Did you see the video of the guy making out with the lady with the Zika Virus? Yeah, apparently it went viral. I know this is awful, but my coworkers laughed... so I got that going for me."

"What did the handless box get for hristmas? Gloves. Just kidding, he hasn't opened it yet."

"What is the fiercest animal in the savanna? The *itseems*. Because the lion is not as fierce as it seems..."

"What does Reddit say to the Joker that doesn't have a punchline?"

"""haha one time we turned a cpr training dummy into a bong"" yes doctor but how is our son *leans in close* ""you had to light its weiner"""