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Joke of the Day

"Why did the cop wake up his son? To stop a kid napping."

"I dream of the day when automatic paper towel dispensers finally realize the human hand isn't 3 inches long."

"What do cigarettes and pussy have in common? The closer you get to the butt, the more flavor you get."

"Did you hear about the Facebook crash? It took a tumbl!"

"How did Hitler react to the fall of Berlin? He did Nazi-it coming."

"don't hate robert altman's 1992 satirical comedy ""the player"" hate david fincher's 1997 psychological thriller ""the game"""

"When I see someone pushing a dog in a stroller I understand why the news is filled with murder."

"What's the worst thing to come out of The Armenian Genocide? Kardashians"

"My nieces just asked me if God is real. I'm tired so I'm just going to show them ""The Exorcist."" This babysitting stuff is a breeze!"

"Why should you date a girl who is good with her hands and plays soccer? Because she's probably a keeper."