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Joke of the Day
"I thought about opening up a cemetery... but it seems like it would be a large undertaking."
Next Joke
"Last night, Gotye won Record of the Year. Parents were like, ""Who's Gotye?"" while their kids were like, ""What's a record?"
"Why are fried onions like a photocopy machine? They keep repeating themselves."
"Why is the ocean salty? Because the land never waves back."
"If you ever really want someone to call back, leave them a message saying, ""I've got tickets to..."" and hang up"
"""Blown out of all proportion"" ... .. is a cliche you don't see every day of the week."
"HR has a problem with me giving the vending machine guy a lap dance. In my defense, he was packing Dark Chocolate Twix."
"What is a pirate's favorite class in school? Arrrrrrt class."
"I have been suffering from Priapism for the last 2 days My wife is taking it pretty hard"
"What's the difference between a million dollar car and a pile of dead babies? There's no million dollar car in my garage."